What Happens When One Has Too Much Free Time
by Holysinner5527
Summary: What would happen if an authors muse forced a story into her head about what would happen if the Saiyuki boys were in high school? Read and find out! First fic. Be gentle. I fixed chapter four!
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Disclaimer: No…I don't own them. If I owned the Saiyuki boys well… the point is I don't own 'em. But if Sanzo is for sale I call dibs.

Sanzo: *aims gun at author* What?

Me: Um…I mean Goku. Yeah. If Goku's for sale. Hehehe.

Sanzo: Thought so.

***

It was a bright warm morning and the four Saiyuki boys were driving as always. It was more calm than normal except for some half-hearted arguing from a certain kappa and monkey. In truth they were all more than a little exhausted. In the last town our boys were forced to fight youkai after youkai after youkai. It had lasted all freaking night.

It seemed that yesterday had been the "Every youkai in a hundred mile radius attack the Sanzo party day". It lasted all day and well into the night. It had even gotten so bad that Sanzo's seemingly never ending amount of bullets had run out. He was then forced to resort to bashing skulls with the mighty fan-o-doom.

So in short all they wanted was a bit of a rest. However, it still didn't look like they would get it when they spotted yet another youkai ahead in the road. Just one youkai. One very odd looking youkai at that. It was a male and had hair that reminded all of them of a calico cat except the colors were black, brown, forest green, and pure gold.

His eyes were also an oddity. The right was the same forest green as some parts of his hair and the left was a royal blue color. If this didn't make him odd enough he also had fairy wings in the colors green, black, and gold. He wore a black Queen t-shirt that had "We Will Rock You." across the front, and baggy blue jeans.

Hakkai pulled Jeep to a stop a few feet away from the strange youkai. The youkai looked at them and unexpectedly let a huge grin take over his face. Not many youkai looked _that_ happy to see them.

"Hi! I finally found you! Holysinner said you'd come this way but it took you so LONG! You'd think that you'd be faster in that jeep. But oh well! You're here now." he smiled.

"Um…can we help you?" Hakkai asked with his signature smile.

"Oh yeah! You all don't know why I'm here." the youkai slapped his forehead for forgetting.

"Ya mean your not here to fight us?" Goku asked, standing up in the back seat.

"No. I'm not an assassin. I'm not even a youkai like you guys are thinking." he grinned.

"Tell us what you are and what you want and leave." Sanzo snapped. This guy was beginning to piss him off.

"Alright! My name is Fred and I'm a muse. I am here for my boss, Holysinner. I forced an idea into her head earlier and it involved you four. She said she'd do it if I broke the news to you." Fred was looking pleased with himself.

"What news?" Sanzo dared to ask.

"Well…you four are going to be transferred to the year 2009 in America where you'll be going to high school. Oh and you'll all be 18 again, except for Goku whose already 18."

"What?! Hell no!" Gojyo shouted now standing next to Goku in the back seat.

"Sorry. You four don't really have a choice. I'm a muse. My will is law!" Fred laughed. At that moment a voice came from the sky along with the smell of hot chocolate and the sound of a creaking chair.

"Freddie! I told you to be nice to them! And make sure to explain everything or its back under the bed with you!"

"Alright! Alright! Jeeze." Fred yelled up at the sky. "Sorry, that's Holysinner. She's a little grumpy right now. But on to the explaining! Your going to a high school called James Monroe for one day. Don't get kicked out and you win the grand prize!" Fred waved his hands to add to the effect.

"Oh! What's the prize? Is it meat buns? Can my prize be meat buns?!" Goku asked excitedly.

"Uh…sure. Your prize can be whatever you want it to be." Fred grinned.

"Can it be a chick?" Gojyo asked.

"Whatever you want." Fred repeated. "Oh and you'll all be living in a foster home and your new to the school. Good luck!" he snapped his fingers.

This was the last thing the Saiyuki boys were aware of before they were overtaken by darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1: Home and English Class

Disclaimer: Nope. I only own them in my fondest dreams. *sobs* But if they ever go on sale (especially Sanzo) then I call 'em!

Notes: this is a strictly non-yaoi fic. Why? Because its gross that's why!

Saiyuki boys: Agreed!

________________________________________________________________________

The sound of buzzing. That's what was annoying Sanzo at this moment. He had been having a weird dream about an annoying as hell muse named Fred telling them to go to high school. Then the buzzing started. It had to die.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked for the source of the damn sound. It was coming from an alarm clock that was on a night stand next to his bed. Wondering vaguely where it had come from he reached over and pushed the sleep button rather harshly. It stopped for a moment and then started again, buzzing even louder than before. Sanzo repeated his actions a little harder this time. It didn't even pause.

Sanzo snarled and reached to pull out his gun so that he could destroy that infernal contraption when he realized that he wasn't wearing his robes. He was wearing a pair of boxers that were purple with golden suns all over them…yeah.

While these boxers were annoying enough his gun being gone was most infuriating. Sanzo decided that the first person he saw that morning would die. That's when he noticed his robes folded neatly on a chair. His gun and fan were on top of them with a note. He picked up the note and read,

Dear Sanzo-chan,

Nope. It wasn't a dream! You have to go to high school this morning. Now your at your foster parents house, so this that your standing in is your room. There's clothes in your closets and I suggest that you wear some of those instead of your robes since you'll just be made fun of other wise. And please keep shooting things to a bear minimum.

with love,

Fred.

Sanzo very calmly grabbed his gun, shot his alarm clock three times and the note twice. His bedroom door flew open to show Goku, Hakkai, and Gojyo standing there wearing panicked expressions and their own specialized boxers. Goku's were yellow with little monkeys on them, Hakkai's were green and for some reason had little piggys on them, and Gojyo's were red with chibi kappas all over them. These boxers _really_ made Sanzo want to kill someone. Bad. that's when a note fell from thin air which Hakkai caught and proceeded to read aloud.

"Dear Sanzo party, I hope you like your personalized boxers. I chose them myself. With love, Fred. Well…they are comfy." Hakkai smiled.

"Oh shut up. Why does this shit always happen to us? Why cant people just leave us the fuck alone?" Sanzo snarled going to his closet.

"I don't know Sanzo. Maybe it'll be fun…and we get whatever we want as a prize!" Goku grinned excitedly.

"Yeah. You can even ask for a chick so your holy virgin ass can finally get laid." Gojyo laughed.

"I'm wishing for a certain cockroach kappa to lose his ability to speak." Sanzo grumbled as he pulled out a purple t-shirt with black writing on the front that said, "People who think they know everything are just annoying for those of us that do." and a black hoodie along with some baggy jeans. "All of you leave now. I don't need you assholes watching me get dressed."

The other three went to find clothes in their own rooms. Once they were all mostly dressed a woman's voice came up the stairs. "Boys, breakfast is ready!"

"Yay! Breakfast!" Goku raced down the stairs while still trying to get his pants on. He ended up, very gracefully, falling down the stairs. Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo watched from the top as he landed on the bottom with a thud.

"Ha! That was smooth monkey." Gojyo laughed as he slid down the banister.

"Oh, Goku did you fall down the stairs?" a middle aged woman asked as she came up to him.

Goku stood and brushed himself off. "Um…its alright. I'm fine." Goku went to stand by Sanzo instead of the unfamiliar woman. "Sanzo, who is she?" he asked in a whisper.

"I can only guess that its our foster mother" Sanzo whispered back.

"Well, come on boys. Breakfast is getting cold." she smiled. They all went foreword into a rather large dining room. Food was heaped onto plates and it all looked delicious. Goku's eyes were as big as the plates.

"We can eat this? Really? Really?!" Goku looked hopefully at the woman.

"Of course. Jeeze what kind of foster home did you poor boys come from? Honestly your as thin as rails." she shook her head as Goku piled food onto his plate.

"Well in our last home we always traveled quite a lot." Hakkai smiled to the lady as he took some bacon before Goku inhaled it all.

"I see. Well hurry up and eat or you'll miss the bus." she smiled and exited the room.

"Hey monkey! Save some food for the masses will you?!" Gojyo reached over to try and get some of the bacon.

"Shove it kappa! I got it first!" Goku pushed the kappa away harshly.

"Would you two take your asses down a notch!?" Sanzo pulled out the fan-o-doom (which he somehow fit into his jeans.) and whacked them both a couple of times on the head.

"Ah! The bus seems to be here. Lets go before we get left behind." Hakkai pushed them all out the door and they clamored onto the bus.

After a few minutes on the bus the guys had discovered something. Busses were loud. Or rather the ignorant people on them were infuriatingly loud. Hakkai and Gojyo were made to share a seat as were Sanzo and Goku who were just behind them. All of them were trying to edge away from their leader to try and be safe when the inevitable explosion happened.

That's when they heard a voice. It was horribly familiar and it caused all of them to stiffen in their seats. "Well bless mah soul. Is that you mister Sanzo?" all four of them looked up to see Hazel standing in all of his homo redneck glory.

"What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing. Here?" Sanzo was so very close to snapping.

"Ah, well it's a most interestin' story. Ah met the strangest darn youkai the other day an he said that he was gunna send me home for vacation. He said ah was gunna go on back ta school for a day. Well ah was feelin' a bit nostalgic so ah said it sounded like a right good idea. But what on earth are ya'll doin here?" Hazel explained then asked.

"This youkai, was his name Fred?" Sanzo asked getting more pissed by the second.

"Why yes." Hazel smiled

"And you said 'home'. What do you mean by that?" Hakkai asked while trying to calm Sanzo.

"Well this is mah home town." Hazel beamed as the four guys expressions turned to barely concealed horror.

They all looked around the bus. They hadn't really noticed before but all the other children were speaking with different versions of Hazels accent. Some of them were better and some actually managed to be worse.

"THAT'S IT! FUCK NO! I'M KILLING MY WAY OUT OF THIS HELL!!!!!" Sanzo shouted, jumping up and pulling out the infamous gun.

***

It took all of them twenty minutes to calm Sanzo enough to make sure he didn't kill everyone. By that time they had arrived at school. It was a rather ugly building with tanish brick pillars out front and the words, James Monroe High School written across them. When our boys walked in there was immediate whispering about the, "hot new guys". to Sanzo the sign out front might as well have said Hell.

Hakkai led them into the office where they got their schedules. They then found that they had every class together. (its like that cause that's how it works best.) So when the first bell rang they all headed to first period English. Class didn't officially start for fifteen more minutes. Within the first two minutes after our boys had sat down they were surrounded by a herd of giggling girls.

"So where are you guys from?" one asked getting _way_ to far into Hakkai's personal space. The youkai tried to back up but just bumped into another girl.

"Um… we're actually from China." he smiled nervously.

"You guys don't look Chinese." one remarked trying to look into Sanzo's eyes. Sanzo sat trying to keep calm with his eyes downcast.

"I think your in the wrong school cutie. Shouldn't you be in the middle school?" a blond giggled at Goku.

"I'm not a kid! I'm eighteen!" Goku glared at the girl. His glare didn't affect her in the slightest.

"Your eighteen? Really?! Your so cute!!!" she began suffocating Goku in a hug.

"So how old are you ladies?" Gojyo asked them, flirting shamelessly.

"Keep it in your pants dipshit." Sanzo growled out glaring at the kappa.

"Your hair is so pretty." one of the girls said reaching to put her fingers threw Sanzo's hair. He grabbed her wrist, none to gently, and pushed her away from himself. "Don't touch me. Ever. Any of you." he glared at all of the girls in turn.

"I would suggest you all listen to Sanzo. He has a few boundary issues." Hakkai smiled politely.

"Sanzo, help me!" Goku was being pulled on by two girls who were each trying to smother him in a hug.

"Don't fight it Goku. Just enjoy it." Gojyo grinned.

"He's mine!"

"No! He's totally mine!"

"He likes me the best!"

"I don't like either of you! Your gunna tear me apart!" Goku was trying desperately to get out of the girls grasp.

"Um, miss would you please not touch me there?" Hakkai was also trying to escape horny high school girl hell to no avail.

"So can we call you sometime?"

"Sure. Call me anytime, for anything, babe."

"Sanzo! I need HELP!!!!"

"Miss I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop that."

"Come on! Stop playing hard to get."

"HELP ME SANZO!!!!!"

"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!" this outburst from our favorite priest was followed by numerous gunshots.

The girls all screamed and ran away quickly. This was just as the bell for class to begin rang. The teacher walked in as they all took their seats. Goku sat in front of Sanzo while Hakkai sat in Sanzo's right with Gojyo in front of him. The teacher stepped up to the front of the class.

"Alright settle down class. I see we have a few new students today. Would you please stand up and tell the class a little bit about yourselves." the teacher, Mr. Blevins, said spotting the boys.

"Must we?" Sanzo asked giving the teacher a death glare.

"Oh come on. It'll help the class get to know you." he urged with a smile.

The four got up reluctantly and stood in front of the class. The other class members starred at them curiously. Hakkai stepped foreword, being the spokes person of the group. The only problem was he didn't know what to say to these people.

"Ahem. I'm afraid that I don't really know what to say. Are there any questions that anyone has?" Hakkai gave his polite smile.

"You said earlier that you guys were from China right? You speak English pretty well. You don't ever have accents." a brunette girl said matter-of-factly.

"Ah, well we're fast learners." Hakkai smiled.

"Are you guys brothers?"

"No." Sanzo answered that one. "We have no relations except the misfortune of having met each other."

"What he means to say is, no we're not related." Hakkai shot the monk a look and he just shrugged and let out a quiet "Feh."

"I have a question for the blond guy. What's your name?" a redheaded girl asked.

"I'm the thirty-first of China, Genjyo Sanzo."

"…huh?"

"The thirty-first? What are ya'll talkin' about?" a boy asked.

"I'm the thirty-first Sanzo priest of China." Sanzo explained.

"Y-you're a priest?"

"Yes." Sanzo looked at the class like they were idiots. What was such a big deal about being a priest? Sure he was young but so what?

"I have a question for the little cute one. What's your name and what's up with the crown?" a girl asked.

"Uh, I'm Son Goku… and I have to have this." he motioned to the power limiter.

"Why?"

"Uh…cause if I don't have it I go on a bloody rampage." Goku figured the truth was the best until he saw the teacher frown.

"That's nothing to joke about young man. Now tell the class why you wear it." Mr. Blevins said.

Goku looked to his friend for help and Hakkai kindly came to his rescue. "He wears it because its all he has left of his real parents. They got it for him right before they died. He really doesn't like to take it off." he explained with his usual smile.

"Oh, go on then."

"Hey, Sanzo priest dude, will you go out with me?" a blond girl asked.

"No." Sanzo took a moment to glare at the idiot girl.

"Uh. Why not?" she asked in the snottiest, stuck up voice that she could possibly manage.

"Your annoying and you make me sick." Sanzo also found honesty the best policy. Even if it stung the person on the receiving end a bit.

"Ha! He probably wont date you because he's gay!" a very suicidal boy shouted making the class laugh.

"You think you have the stones to say that again ass-wipe?" a sound like that of a clicking gun was heard.

"Alright, you can all sit down now." Mr. Blevins rushed them to their seats before anyone was hurt by the scary priest.

Sanzo and co. sat down, Sanzo grumbling about not being able to shoot anyone. The teacher took this time to start his lecture. After a while the teacher stopped talking and told the class to each write an essay of no less than five paragraphs to be due at the end of class. The essay was on an experience that they had that affected their lives in someway.

So the class settled in and began to write their papers. Half way threw Hakkai was interrupted when the girl behind him tapped on his shoulder and handed him a note. He opened it from its unnecessarily difficult folding. The note was in pink ink and curly handwriting. It read,

Hakkai,

My name is Samantha. I was just wondering if after this class you wanted to skip 2nd period and do something _fun_. I promise that you wont regret it. Write back.

Sam.

Hakkai was sure that this girl didn't mean what it sounded like she did. She didn't even know him so he couldn't imagine that she would make such an offer. weren't girls supposed to be more modest? Then again there were all those girls that Gojyo had always brought home. Just to be sure he wrote back in his neat handwriting,

I'm afraid I don't quite understand what your proposing. Please specify.

Thank you,

Hakkai.

He then passed the note behind him and waited for Samantha to write back. In only a few seconds the note was thrust back to him with a huff. He read,

I mean I could do you a favor of the _sexual_ kind. I promise that you'll enjoy it a lot. Write back, Sam.

Hakkai let out a sigh. He had expected as much. Really what were young ladies coming to these days? It was disgusting the level that they would sink to. He wrote back,

I apologize miss Samantha but I must decline on your offer. I don't know you and its against my morals to do something of that nature with someone I don't know. I really do hope you don't take this personally.

Hakkai.

He passed the note back and looked to his companions. As he expected they were also reading notes from girls of the class. All of them probably being an almost exact copy of the one he had been given. Gojyo was looking happy with his note, Sanzo was looking disgusted, and Goku was looking confused. Hakkai shook his head with a smile as he went back to his paper.

Sanzo had already read his note which was sent to him by that same blond girl who had asked him out earlier. If he had rejected her then what made her think he would want her now? People are idiots. On the note he wrote, in his almost-as-neat-as-Hakkai writing, the word NO!!!! Figuring that this sent the right message he passed the note back.

Goku, our favorite monkey, in his naïve childishness, didn't really _get_ the note. What could the girl want to do with him? She said it was fun. What if there was food?! He was really hungry. But he had better ask Sanzo first. The note said that they would skip class. That sounded bad. So he turned and looked to his sun.

"Hey Sanzo? Can I ask you what this note means? What does she mean by fun? Will there be food? Can I go if there's food?" Goku chattered.

Sanzo gave a sigh and quickly read over Goku's note. It was almost exactly what his note had said word for word. "No Goku, there wont be food and if you want to have sex with a random girl any other time feel free. But not here. I'm not letting you skip class." Sanzo answered going back to his essay. (Isn't he a good daddy?)

"That's what she wants to do? Oh, I get it now." Goku now looked at the note in a whole new light. So he lay down the note and wrote back, No thanx. Sanzo says that there's no food. So I'm good. He passed the note back and went back to writing his essay.

Gojyo was loving high school. All these girls were hot and seemed very willing to put out. For him this was some kind of horny high school girl heaven. He already had plans with three girls for second period. But for now he just went back to writing his essay.

When class was nearly over Mr. Blevins took up the completed papers and then the bell rang. On the way out Hakkai got a glare from Samantha that almost compared with a glare from Sanzo on a bad day. Sanzo also received a glare from the blond girl whose name he had discovered was Jessica. He glared right back at the stupid whore. She was angry with him for not wanting to fuck her? He was a fricken priest goddamnit. Why did no one understand that?

"Hey Sanzo, where's Gojyo goin?" Goku pointed to where Gojyo was talking with three of the girls and looking very happy.

"Hakkai get him over here or I'm going to shoot him." Sanzo growled out. Hakkai started walking over to Gojyo, the smile he wore demanding obedience. When Gojyo spotted the brunette youkai coming towards him with _that_ smile he quickly started looking for an escape route.

"L-ladies we should take this elsewhere." with his arms around their shoulders he tried to flee. He was stopped by a hand grabbing his hair.

"Gojyo I'd like to think that your not about to take advantage of these young women." Hakkai's smile was piercing.

"Oh come on Hakkai! don't give me that shit! All of these girls are eighteen so why cant I have just a little fun? There turning blue, man." Gojyo whined.

"Well I'm afraid that Sanzo is pretty serious about shooting you if you don't come this time." Hakkai's smile was a bit less sharp now.

"Come on ya pissy monk! How is this any of your business anyways?" he shouted to Sanzo.

"Listen cockroach, what you do on your own time is not my problem, but your not going to have a threesome now. So lets go you waist of skin kappa." Sanzo took out the fan-o-doom and whacked Gojyo on the head a few times for good measure.

Gojyo grumbled as he was dragged along by Hakkai. Why did the damn monk always have to ruin his fun? What was the harm in spending some time with those girls? He sighed and pouted.

"Cheer up Gojyo. Maybe this place serves something really good for lunch." Goku smiled.

"Shut up bakasaru." Gojyo grumbled.

"Now now , lets just get to second period shall we?" Hakkai smiled as they headed towards their destination.

**Chapter End**

Me: I think this turned out well. Guys?

Sanzo: I'd rather kill myself than go threw another chapter.

Gojyo: Why cant I ever just get it on with even one lady? Hey Holysinner, how about you and me-

Me: No.

Gojyo: Why not? *cute grin*

Me: Because I'm not that kind of girl. You should know that.

Gojyo: *sigh* Yeah.

Me: Besides, I'm a Sanzo fan. (though the rest of them kick major ass too.)

Sanzo: What?!

Gojyo: What does he have that I don't?

Me: He's pretty. *smile*

Sanzo: If you wanted to die that bad you just had to say so. *loading gun*

Hakkai: Calm down Sanzo. It's a compliment.

Goku: What about me? Am I pretty?

Me: not pretty per say. Your more on the amazingly adorable side. *sees Goku's big cute eyes and cute look and squees and hugs him.* Your too cute! Here's a meat bun.

Goku: Yay! *munches*

Me: And now I would like to offer my thanks to all of my lovely reviewers. You guys are the main reason I write. The next chappie will be up soon. 2nd period history class, joy! I would also like to point out that yeah, my school is really like this. I made it Hazel's

Home town because I'm convinced that this is where he came from. There are soooo many rednecks here. Oh and the teachers mentioned may or may not be as pissy as they are portrayed. I had to exaggerate some. But most of them actually are the way that their portrayed. Keep sending those reviews, criticism is fine but flames will just mark you as an asshole in my book…and Fred's.

Fred: Yeah!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2: History Class and a Wicked Witch

Disclaimer: If I did own them do you really think I'd be writing this? I'd actually _make _it happen if I felt like it. Muah hahahaha!!!!! The power I would posses!!!

Saiyuki boys: …WTF?

Me: …ahem. Enjoy the chappie then. Heh heh heh.

Note: this is a non-yaoi fic. Just because I don't like it.

________________________________________________________________________

Sanzo scanned their schedules and found their second period was history. They all headed to class and sat down in the exact same order that they had sat in the last class. In a few seconds a guy came up to stand next to Sanzo's desk. He was tall and wide with a dim, angry look on his face. His hair was dirty blond and cut short to look like it was pasted to his skull. He was in a plaid shirt with too tight jeans on.

"Your in mah seat." he grunted out, glaring at the priest.

"Mine now." Sanzo didn't even look up from the newspaper that he had found on his desk. He absentmindedly handed the comics over to Goku who let out a small cheer.

The redneck didn't take to kindly to being ignored. So he did something that should never be done. He slammed his hands down on the desk. In doing this he tore the news paper from Sanzo's grasp and turned it into a crinkled little ball. He then said, oh so suicidally, "Ah said its mah durn desk, fag."

There are many, _many_, things in this life that piss Sanzo off. Perverts, insects, cats, the constant stupidity of others, girls trying to glomp him, stupid perverted cockroach kappas, and many other things. But forth on the list of things that piss Sanzo off the most in this world is people ripping and/or messing up his paper in any way.

When he had first freed Goku the saru had learned this the hard way. He had found the paper and started folding it into paper airplanes. Sanzo had come for his paper just in time to see the chibi toss a lovely black and white plane. This was the very first time Goku had met the fan-o-doom, over, and over, and over. And that's with Sanzo liking him. (In his own subtle Sanzoish way.)

This dumbass redneck doing it made Sanzo snap. Being called a fag really didn't help, believe it or not. So, very calmly, he stood up. The fury like a dark cloud around him. Hakkai was trying desperately to motion to the boy to run. It seemed he didn't notice.

"Good. Now move it." the redneck smiled, thinking he'd won.

"I hope you don't have any regrets. Because now, your going to DIE!!!!" the Smith&Wesson came out and soon the boy was faced with an array of bullets. But that wasn't all. The fan-o-doom was also out and proving to the idiot that paper _could_ kick his ass.

Goku, Hakkai, and Gojyo were attempting to calm their leader. By the time they had managed to force him back into his seat the bell rang. A woman walked in with shoulder length gray hair, black old lady clothes, and wrinkles deep enough to hide a muffin in. (Mmmmm, muffins!)

"Sanzo, it's a witch!" Goku yelped in surprise.

"What on earth happened to you Tyler?" the teacher asked the, now bloody, redneck.

"Yes Tyler, what happened?" Sanzo snarled out.

"I-I fell." he stuttered out.

"Right. Just go to the nurses office." she waved him away. "Alright, who are you four?" she was looking at the Saiyuki boys as if she barely cared.

" Nice to meet you. I'm Cho Hakkai. This is Genjyo Sanzo, Son Goku, and Sha Gojyo." Hakkai pointed to each of his friends.

"I'm Mrs. Jackson. Sit down now young man." she said as Hakkai quickly sat down.

Sanzo, who had resigned himself to the fact that the paper he had was now beyond reading raised his hand. Mrs. Jackson gave him a look like, "What is it?"

"Can I have another newspaper please?" Sanzo motioned to the ruined one.

"What did you do to it?" Mrs. Jackson frowned a little deeper. (She always frowns so the only way you know she's upset is when she frowns more.)

"It wasn't me. It was-"

"I don't want to hear your excuses young man. In this school we don't rip up papers for no reason. Other students may want a paper later on today and there's only a few that we get. If your going to ruin one your not getting another one." she lectured.

"But I didn't-"

"That's all I'm going to say Mr. Sanzo." Mrs. Jackson cut him off again.

"Yes ma'am." Sanzo growled out.

"Calm down now. Its really not that bad." Hakkai tried to soothe the moody monk.

" Mr. Hakkai that's enough talking." Mrs. Jackson snapped.

"Yes ma'am. I was just trying to calm-"

"No excuses."

Goku raised his hand and waved it back and forth quickly. Mrs. Jackson looked up. "Yes Mr. Goku?"

"Can we go ta lunch now? If not can I just have some food? I'm super hungry! If I don't get some food soon I'll starve to death!" Goku whined.

"You certainly cannot go to lunch now and I don't allow food or drinks in my class. All they do is make a mess." she said taking a drink of Dr. Pepper and a bite of apple. (Yeah. She actually does this in class.)

"But if you can eat why cant I?" Goku asked giving her his big cute eyes.

"Because I'm the teacher." she took another bite.

"Sanzo I'm hungry and she's teasing me!" Goku whispered angrily.

"I know Goku. Hakkai give him something to snack on." Sanzo whispered to the youkai.

Hakkai smiled and handed Goku a banana nut muffin that he had been saving for when Goku got hungry. Goku took it, beaming at Hakkai then Sanzo. He then started eating the muffin quickly so that Mrs. Jackson wouldn't notice. It didn't work.

"Mr. Goku I said no eating! What do you have?" she snarled.

"Nuffsing." Goku mumbled threw his cheeks full of muffin.

"I specifically told you that you could not have food in this class." her face was getting red with anger.

"I gave him the food." Sanzo said with his typical glare.

"Who do you think you are? What makes you think that you can break my rules and give him food?" she almost yelled

"He was hungry. I have to make sure he's fed, I'm his guardian." Sanzo said seriously.

"You cant be his guardian! Your both the same age!" she yelled.

"Oh. Yeah." he blinked in surprise. He had completely forgotten that he was no longer older than Goku.

"Mrs. Jackson, I'm afraid I'll have to tell you. Goku has a disorder where he digests food to quickly. This makes him hungry a lot more often. If he doesn't get food whenever he's hungry he can pass out and go into a coma. it's a rare disorder. He usually doesn't like to tell people since it brings unwanted attention." Hakkai explained.

"I see. Well even if he doesn't like to tell people he should tell his teachers." Mrs. Jackson frowned. "Well lets get to today's lesson." she stood up from her desk and took out an old book. It was rather torn up and had the words, _Legends & Myths from Around the World._ written on the front. "Today were going to learn something a little different. I found this book and I figured since we're studying China we would read a Chinese legend. I've picked out one that seems to be good. Its called, Journey to the West. I don't know what its about yet but we'll find out." she gave what looked to be an attempt at a smile.

The class grabbed their copies of the book and opened it up to the page that the story started on. Sanzo looked at the picture on the page and saw a bald monk, a tiny monkey, a kappa, and a pig. His first thought was, 'No fucking way.'

"It says that the main characters are Genjyo Sanzo, Son…Goku…, Sha Gojyo, and…Cho Hakkai." the entire class looked to the surprised guys. "Boys, why do you have the same names as these characters?" she asked looking curious. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Ah, well, um…we are named after the characters of the legends." Hakkai smiled over the lie.

"We were orphans and our caretakers decided they were good names." Sanzo added.

"Yeah. They really loved the legend. We didn't think we'd be bothered by it so far from home." Gojyo finished.

"I see. Well on with the story then." Mrs. Jackson then started reading aloud.

The Saiyuki boys soon found something out. This legend was _nothing_ like what actually happened. When the story described Sanzo, a strict, completely holy, no gun wielding or life taking, no cussing, no drinking, and no smoking priest, Gojyo nearly lost it. When Sanzo heard this he very nearly pulled out his gun to shoot the book into nothing but a bad memory. However, his displeasure with his role was nothing compared to Hakkai's. all of them heard the youkai's whisper of,

"I'm the pig." he sounded shocked and wore a little frown.

Gojyo was laughing quietly. "Don't worry about it 'Kai. The rest of us got screwed too." he smirked at his friend.

"That's not necessarily true is it? I mean you _are_ a kappa, though you look nothing like this, Goku _is_ a monkey, and Sanzo _is_ a priest." Hakkai pointed out.

"Yeah. It does seem like Hakkai got screwed the hardest by this fucking book." Sanzo glared at the picture with a visible desire to shoot it.

"Oh! This explains why there were pigs on your boxers this morning!" Goku laughed.

"I'm not sure whether to laugh or be insulted." Hakkai smiled.

"Just laugh. Its pretty funny. I mean out of all of us _you_ were made the pig. _You!_" Gojyo laughed.

"Yeah. I mean Gojyo is the one that should have been the pig. He's the disgusting one." Goku giggled.

"Hey! I'm not the one who eats everything in sight you disgusting pig monkey." Gojyo glared

"What'd you say you pig cockroach kappa?!" Goku glared and yelled.

"Mr. Goku! Mr. Gojyo! You are both disturbing class. Be quiet or you can both go to the principals office." Mrs. Jackson snarled.

"Yes ma'am." the two mumbled putting their heads down.

Mrs. Jackson finished reading the legend and let the class have the rest of the time (ten minutes.) to talk quietly. Goku turned to look at Sanzo with a questioning look on his face.

"Hey Sanzo?"

"Hn?" Sanzo was attempting to glare a hole threw the picture of the "Sanzo" priest in the book.

"How come this legend is so wrong? I mean it doesn't even mention the youkai goin' crazy, and Jeep isn't even a jeep. He's a freaking horse and his names not Jeep. Hakkai's a pig and all three of them practically worship this Sanzo. And it doesn't even mention Kougaiji or Guyamaoh. Its only recognizable because of our names." Goku frowned at the book.

"Well its true that stories lose a lot of truth because of rumors. But this seems on the extreme side." Sanzo finally tore his gaze away from the picture and snapped the book shut.

"I still cant believe _Hakkai _was the pig." Gojyo laughed.

"Yes. It is quite funny." Hakkai flashed Gojyo his, "Do you want to die?" smile before letting it fade to his regular smile. This is when the bell finally rang.

They all got up and went to put their books in their lockers and go to lunch. Hakkai spotted a group of redneck boys and some of the girls that had written the notes in first period whispering together. Among them was the boy named Tyler and the girls named Samantha and Jessica.

"It seems that we have made a few enemies." Hakkai pointed out to his companions.

"It doesn't matter." Sanzo grumbled.

"Well I was just worried about what they might try." Hakkai frowned.

"Don't worry about it 'Kai. Lets just get some chow." Gojyo grinned resting his arm on Hakkai's shoulder.

"Yeah! Food, food, food, food, FOOD!!!" Goku skipped threw the crowded hall.

"Shut up monkey! Your louder than everyone!" Sanzo smacked Goku with the fan.

"Now now, lets just get lunch." Hakkai laughed.

**Chapter End**

Me: You think this turned out ok?

Sanzo: At least I got to hurt someone this time.

Me: Well then you'll love the next chappie Sanzo!

Goku: Why?

Me: There's gunna be violence galore!

Gojyo: How about hot chicks galore?

Me:…no.

Gojyo: Why not? *pouts* Please?

Me: That cute look wont work.

Gojyo: *cute look* Please.

Me: I'll see if I can do something for you. *huff*

Gojyo: Yes!

Hakkai: Holysinner your just encouraging him.

Me: its not my fault! I cant resist him when he does the cute look! Just like I cant resist Goku's cute look. Or like when Sanzo just asks for anything and, because of his natural sexy Sanzoness, I cant refuse. Or when you have that real cute smile on! You four don't play fair!

Hakkai: Er…I'm sorry?

Me: *pouting* Should be. Anyways! For those of you that are wondering, yes. Mrs. Jackson is that bitchy…always. But that's not important. Please review! Its not hard! I'm good with criticism but flames are not welcome. They just make you look like a jackass. So please no flames! Next chappie should be up soon! Lunch and geometry! BYE!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3: Lunch and Geometry.

Disclaimer: You already know don't you? Then why do I have to remind myself again? *pout*

________________________________________________________________________

When our four boys entered the lunch room they all instantly felt like they were on a stage. It wasn't as if they weren't used to attention. God knows they got plenty of that. But this seemed a little extreme. _Everyone_ was looking at them and whispering as they searched for an empty table.

"Its like we're on display." Hakkai smiled nervously.

"Hey, lets go get food now! Come on! I'm so huuuuuuunnnngryyyyyy!" Goku urged them towards the unruly line.

"I guess I'll go with him. Are you going to eat Sanzo?" Hakkai asked.

"Hm…no." Sanzo answered seeing what one kid had on his tray.

"Of course. Come on Gojyo." Hakkai and Gojyo went to catch up with the saru.

Sanzo sat down and huffed. He didn't have a paper, and that pissed him off. He spotted a few rednecks who were eyeing him like they wanted a fight. That was fine with him. If they wanted to make the mistake of challenging him he'd be happy to kick their asses. It was all that Tyler kids fault that he no longer had a paper in the first place.

He looked to check where his companions were in the line and saw that they weren't even half way threw. Gojyo was talking to a girl who was continuously pulling her, already low cut shirt, down. Hakkai was trying to calm Goku down since he was jumping up and down in excitement. Bakasaru.

Sanzo was still watching his companions when yet another girl sat down beside him. She had chestnut brown hair with matching eyes. She was also pushing out he back at an odd angle to make her breast stand out more. It looked…painful. Sanzo turned to fully look at her.

"Hi. I'm Katie." she arched her back more and blinked in a way that made it look like she had something in her eye.

"…." was all that came from Sanzo.

"Look, I know a bunch of girls have already bothered you. But I'm different. I _get_ you." she smiled.

He looked up from where he had been studying a certain spot on the table. "Oh really?" he raised an eyebrow.

Pleased that he had talked to her, she continued. "Yeah! I completely do. They all ask you to go on dates and stuff with them. But your not looking for a relationship, right?" she grinned.

"Hn." Sanzo was actually curious as to what this girl was getting at. He was also starting to wonder if Hakkai would be able to fix her back once it snapped. He was sure it was going to happen any second.

"I was thinking that since you don't want a relationship we could have some fun with no strings attached." she grinned as if she had offered him the deal of a life time.

Sanzo felt the overpowering urge to introduce this girl to the fan-o-doom and his head to the table many times. Why did no one understand? He gave a small sigh. "Listen, I'm a _priest_. A P-R-I-E-S-T. I have taken a vow of celibacy. Which means that I can. Not. Have. Sex." Sanzo said with as much patience as he could muster.

"Yeah but priests don't usually carry guns or cuss and people are saying you do that." she pouted.

"There are parts of Buddhism that I like (Like his Maten sutra and celibacy.) and parts of it I don't. (Like everything else.)" he went back to starring at that spot oh the table.

"Oh come on. I promise that you'll really like it. I'll have you begging for it." she pleaded.

"Listen, even if I wanted to have sex I wouldn't have it with a stupid bitch who twists her back like a contortionist just to make her breasts more visible. Now please, just leave. Me. Alone." he snapped. Katie ran off with a sob.

By this time Goku, Hakkai, and Gojyo were already on their way back with their trays in hand. Goku actually looked quite upset. When they got to the table Goku slammed his tray down. "Look at how little they gave us! And it doesn't even look or smell good! What is it anyways?" Goku fumed as they sat down.

"I believe the menu said that it was chili con carne and beans. There's also cornbread, a baked potato, fruit, and milk." Hakkai smiled.

"But it all looks disgusting." Gojyo frowned poking the chili with his spoon. It moved and made an odd growling noise. "Yeah, this isn't safe."

"Maybe this'll be good." Goku picked up the cornbread and tried to bite it. It made an odd cracking noise but didn't break. "Sanzo, I think I broke a tooth."

"Maybe you shouldn't eat that." Hakkai suggested frowning at his baked potato, which looked petrified.

"So who was that girl you were talking to, Sanzo?" Gojyo asked taking a drink of chocolate milk.

"Just another whore." Sanzo said with limited interest. "You'd think they'd get the priest thing eventually."

"I guess that's more than you can hope for Sanzo." Hakkai smiled taking a bite of a bruised, overly ripe apple.

"Hakkai, the only things that are edible are the apples and the milk. I'm gunna starve to death!" Goku had already finished his milk and fruit.

"Calm down Goku. Hakkai, give him another muffin." Sanzo ordered. Hakkai handed the saru another muffin which he happily munched on.

When he was finished they all stood up (except Sanzo.) to dump their trays. They didn't get more than three steps before they were surrounded by at least a dozen rednecks. There were a few girls in the background. They included Samantha, Jessica, Katie, and a girl named Brittany, who had wrote Goku his note in first.

"Can we help you?" Hakkai asked with a pleasant smile.

"Me and mah friends here don't like the four of ya'll much." the biggest one of them said, stepping forward.

"Well we're terribly sorry. Now if we could pass please." Hakkai's smile was quickly turning threatening.

"No ya cant pass, faggot." one of the boys snarled, stepping up and knocking the tray from Hakkai's hands. The rest of the rednecks laughed in grunt like ways.

Sanzo had gotten up to stand with his comrades. Why did people have to be such dumbasses? It _really_ annoyed him to no end. And how could they even stand to talk like that? It was like they had never heard proper speech so they made their own mangled version of it.

Once the idiots stopped laughing the leader looked back at Hakkai. Hakkai's smile had disappeared. In it place was a look that plainly said to back down or die. It would have sent a brighter person running while pissing in his pants. This guy…didn't seem to get it.

"Mah names John. Mah girl, Samantha, done told me that you was tryin' ta get your durn hands on her. Ah'm gunna show ya'll not to be messin' with mah girl." he said while glaring at Hakkai.

"Mah girl said the same durn thing 'bout that un." one of them grunted pointing to Sanzo.

"An Brit said the same 'bout that un." this guy pointed to Goku.

"Well I'm afraid that your all mistaken. Me and my friends have done no such thing." Hakkai's sharp smile was back.

"You callin' me a liar, fag?" John snarled. This was enough to make our dear holy monk finally snap.

"Shut the fuck up! Your all a bunch of fucking retards! Your bitchy girlfriends are a bunch of whores who just wanted us for a quick fuck! We refused, their pissed! So then they go and sic the dumbass brigade on us! Well I'm sick of it! I'm killing ALL of you bastards!" Sanzo then turned and delivered a K.O. punch to the nearest guy.

That's all it took for the fighting to break out. Sanzo eventually took out the fan-o-doom and began bashing skulls with that. Goku was taking out at least two at a time and Hakkai was fighting with that drop dead smile of his. Gojyo was a bit…distracted.

It wasn't long before all the rednecks were out for the count. Sanzo was feeling a lot less stressed. He tucked his fan away and pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He had _really_ needed one.

"Hey, where's Gojyo?" Goku asked looking around.

"Ah, he's over there." Hakkai pointed to where Gojyo was patiently making out with the girl he'd been talking to in the line earlier.

"You boys!" a teacher ran up to our boys, looking around in shock. "What have you done?! You all beat up twelve boys! And you are not allowed to smoke in here! And you stop that at once!" the woman pulled Gojyo away from his intended conquest. "Your all coming to the office!" All four boys were then dragged to the office. Sanzo still puffed on his Marlboro as if the teacher hadn't said a thing about it.

In no time at all they were sat in front of the principals desk with a very angry Mr. Collins (the principal.) glaring at them. "Boys, I don't know how it was in your old school but here your behavior has been simply horrendous. And stop that!" he shouted at Sanzo, who was giving Gojyo a light. "There is no smoking allowed in the school! Throw those in the trash at once!"

Sanzo and Gojyo glared as they threw their precious cigs away. Gojyo had really wanted that too. Didn't this guy understand how much nic-fits sucked? They sucked a lot! Gojyo was ready to snap.

"Sir, we understand what we did was not right, but we truly didn't start it. It seems that it was a misunderstanding that went far out of control. We would all like to apologize." Hakkai said with a sincere smile.

"I see. Well that doesn't change the fact that your all in trouble. This will get you three days suspension, starting tomorrow. For now you can all go back to class. Third period has already started." Mr. Collins said wearily.

"Yes sir. We'll go now." Hakkai began to rush his companions out. He doubted that Mr. Collins would be very happy when he saw that his trash can was in flames from where the still burning cigs had been thrown into it.

***

The boys all got to geometry a bit late. Half an hour late to be specific. They all took their seats. The teacher, Mrs. Clapham, was explaining something about triangles. Goku went and got them books from the back. Then they all started on the assignment.

Sanzo was lost within the first few seconds. 'What the hell?' he thought. 'Calculate the circumference of the triangle. What the fuck does circumference mean?' he flipped to the back of the book to check the glossary. The only definition that he found was in math terms. He might as well have been reading German for how well he understood.

Goku and Gojyo weren't having much better luck. Gojyo's thoughts went along the lines of, 'Well this is shit. I wonder if that girl feels like having some fun. She's hot as hell. Maybe if we could just sneak out of this class…' his thoughts went on to many unmentionable things.

Goku's thoughts went along the lines of, 'Hm… triangles. They look like… slices of pizza. Or ice cream cones. Or triangular meat buns! Gah! Now I'm super hungry. No! Focus. I need to do these math problems… if only they didn't look so yummy!!!' after a few minutes Goku cleared his throat. "Um…Hakkai? I don't get it." he frowned.

"Ah, I see. Well then let me help you. How are you doing Gojyo? Sanzo?" Hakkai smiled to his other two companions.

"This shit is pointless. Why are kids taught this?" Gojyo cursed motioning toward the book.

The only response out of Sanzo was an irritated, "Hn." he then continued to glare at the book as if this alone would make it surrender the answers… or burst into flame. Whichever came first.

"I see. Then I'll help all of you." Hakkai began to explain in simple terms. Soon he had his friends on the right track. He was about to go back to his own work when he felt a hesitant hand on his shoulder. He turned to see a girl with short, light brown, hair and matching eyes standing nervously. "Can I help you?" he asked with a polite smile.

The girl blushed. "Um…y-yes. I was just, uh, wondering if you could … please help me? I'm having trouble with the problems." she fidgeted.

Hakkai couldn't help but find the girls shy and modest behavior cute and refreshing. Especially with what all the other girls had been like. He gave her a gentle, friendly, smile.

"Of course I can help you. Please have a seat. I'm Hakkai." he said offering her a seat.

She sat down with a shy smile. "Its nice to meet you. I'm Carla."

"Please tell me what your having trouble with." he then started helping Carla. Soon after he had finished helping her yet another student was asking for his assistance. It wasn't long before he was up at the board, re-teaching it for the entire class.

Mrs. Clapham was actually somewhat relieved. She new she hadn't been getting threw to the class and yet this young man was getting them to understand easily. When there was only five minutes left of class Hakkai took his seat again. Mrs. Clapham had told him that he would receive a hundred for the assignment.

"You always were good at teaching huh 'Kai?" Gojyo smirked at his friend.

"What can I say, its my calling." Hakkai smiled. He had forgotten how good it felt to teach.

"Yeah, you even managed to teach the monkey math eventually." Sanzo stated as he turned in his paper.

"It didn't take me _that_ long Sanzo!" Goku pouted. "Hey Hakkai, can I have another muffin?"

"Too many muffins are bad for you. Here, have an apple." Hakkai handed over an apple just as he bell rang. As they walked out he was tapped on the shoulder again. He turned to see Carla blushing.

"T-thanks for all the help. I think I get it now." she smiled.

"Oh no. it was my pleasure. I'm glad I could help." he smiled.

"Well, thanks anyways." she grinned and turned to walk away. Hakkai found himself watching her as she left.

"Alright, come on lover boy." Gojyo wrapped his arm around Hakkai's shoulder and forced him away.

"Hey Hakkai. Why were ya starring at that girl like that?' Goku looked questioningly at Hakkai.

"L-like what?" he just barely blushed.

"Feh. I never thought I'd see you almost as bad as Gojyo." Sanzo stated.

"Now Sanzo that's quite harsh don't you think?" Hakkai frowned.

"Hn. Lets just get to class. He mumbled. Hakkai smiled as they all headed toward fourth period.

***

Me: Are you all happy now? Sanzo got violence and a smoke, Goku got food, Gojyo got to make out with a girl, and Hakkai got to teach and I even let you flirt some. *grins*

Sanzo: would've been better if I was able to kill them.

Goku: I didn't get a lot of food! I only got gross food! *whines*

Gojyo: Making out is nice but how about I actually get to screw a girl?

Me: You all suck. I do stuff to make you happy and you just complain about it. *pouts*

Hakkai:…I'm happy.

Me: Well you the only good one. Here's a cookie. *hands Hakkai a double fudge brownie cookie.*

Hakkai: Thank you. *smiles and munches.*

Goku: Hey, I wanna cookie!

Me: No! bad boys don't get cookies.

Gojyo: I want a cookie too! *reaches to grab one.*

Me: No! *swats hand away.*

Sanzo: I know you wouldn't even think about not giving me a cookie.

Me: N-no. you were bad too.

Sanzo: *sound of a clicking gun.* Oh?

Me: Hakkai save me! *hides behind Hakkai.*

Sanzo: Give me a cookie!

Goku; No! I want one first!

Gojyo: Screw you guys! I want a cookie!

* all of a sudden Fred jumps out, steals the cookies, and gobbles them all down.*

* everyone stares in shock.*

Me: …Freddie.

Gojyo: he ate them all.

Goku: Every single cookie.

Sanzo: He. Must. Die!

*everyone attacks Fred except Hakkai.*

Hakkai: Well since their busy I guess I'll close. Holysinner would like to thank you for reading. She loves reviews but please no flames. Thank you. *smiles*

Fred: HELP ME!!!!! *gun shots are heard.*

Sanzo: Holysinner give me my gun back!


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 4: American History and Gym._

_Disclaimer: Nope. *sigh* Don't own them. So please don't send me money. Or, ya know, if your going to just make sure its not for this fic. *grins*_

_Notes: I would like to dedicate this chappie to ari2266. Your heartfelt reviews keep me going! Enjoy!_

_Notes II: I am sorry to say that this will be the last actual chappie. But don't fret my dears, there's still the epilogue. Thank you._

__________________________________________________________________________

_The Saiyuki boys got to fourth period right on time. The teacher was standing at a podium in the front of the class. A book entitled __American History _on the podium in front of her. They all took their seats.

"Uh, how much do you guys know about American history?" Gojyo looked back at Hakkai.

"It was discovered by that George Washington guy, right?" Goku asked.

"Um…no Goku. that's not right." Hakkai frowned.

"Oh. Then who was it?"

"That would be Columbus." Hakkai smiled.

"Settle down now class. Today I'm going to be calling on people and asking questions." the teacher, Mrs. Smith, said while looking around the room. Her gaze fell on the Saiyuki boys. She had already heard about _them_ this morning. Apparently they were a bunch of trouble makers. Well she would just have to keep them busy with questions. "Mr. Goku, who was the twenty first president?" 

Goku was surprised to be the first to be called on. So naturally his mind went blank. Not that he knew the answer to begin with. "Uh…George Washington?" he asked with a lost look.

"What? No! this is no time to be funny young man. This is serious!" she gave him a death glare.

"Um." Goku struggled to think of a U.S. president that he had heard of. "Um… Abraham Lincoln?" the class broke out into giggles.

"Do you really just not know?" Mrs. Smith frowned. "Or are you trying to be stupid?"

This made Goku sink down in his seat a bit. Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo frowned. Goku may get insulted by them often (Or by Sanzo and Gojyo at least.) but a strange woman doing it, teacher or not, was going a bit far.

"I-I don't know. I'm sorry." Goku mumbled.

Mrs. Smith hated students like this. Kids who just came for the hell of it and didn't learn a thing. Little did she know that this was not the case at all. "Did they teach you at all in your last school or did you just refuse to learn?" she asked in the bitchiest voice she possibly could.

"My last teacher was really smart!" Goku protested. Hakkai had taught him a lot over the years. This woman had no right to insult him.

"Well then maybe you just didn't listen at all." she sneered

"He is actually a very good student ma'am. He just doesn't have the memory for such useless information." Hakkai smiled a sharp smile. He had never really taught Goku history. He figured that reading, writing, and math were all that Goku would really need. 

"Is that so? Well I'll have you know young man that this is not useless information!" Mrs. Smith was becoming flushed with anger.

"Would you mind answering what we'll ever use this for then?" Sanzo asked while fighting down the urge to reach for a cigarette.

"Come now Sanzo." Hakkai smiled sarcastically. "You never know when we'll need this."

"Yeah. It could come in real handy if we're going to try out for a game show." Gojyo grinned as the class laughed.

Mrs. Smith was furious. She slammed the book closed loudly. "Fine. Then you can all do book work. Go to page 464 and do questions 1-30. You'll be having a quiz on it tomorrow." she hissed.

All the students, besides the Saiyuki boys groaned. They wouldn't be there tomorrow anyways. Like hell they were going to work their asses off for this bitch.

"Does this school have a bitchy history teacher curse or something?" Sanzo grumbled.

"I think that's a good way to put it." Hakkai smiled.

"So guys?"

"Yes, Goku?"

"Who _is_ the twenty first president?"

"Does it _really_ matter?"

"Nah. I guess not."

***

The bell for fifth period _finally _rang. All the boys had done for the entire period was sat there and chatted every now and then. Mrs. Smith hadn't spoken for the rest of the class except to tell them to quiet down every so often.

"What do we have fifth, 'Kai?" Gojyo asked as they put their books away.

"It says gym." Hakkai said looking at the schedule.

"Are you serious?" Goku asked excitedly.

"Great. Just fucking great." Sanzo grumbled murderously.

"Aw, come on Sanzo! It could be fun!" Goku grinned.

"Yeah. And, worst case scenario, you have to get off your lazy ass and actually _do_ something." Gojyo teased.

"Your death wish is getting clearer and clearer." Sanzo fumed.

"Um, Gojyo?" Hakkai smiled as they stepped into the gym.

"Huh?"

"I think you were wrong on that worst case scenario." Hakkai pointed to where Hazel was standing.

At that moment the same thought went threw all of their minds. 'Well shit.'

"Mister Sanzo! Are ya'll in this here class too?" Hazel asked as he came over with a big smile.

"Please tell me _that_ is not what we have to wear." Sanzo said threw clenched teeth.

Hazel was in a purple tank top and black shorts. (Those are the school colors.) But the real problem was that the shorts were freaking _short-shorts_. The only way that they could look more gay was if they were pink.

"This is the gym uniform, mister Sanzo." Hazel beamed.

"I refuse." Sanzo snarled. The same thought was also running threw his friends minds.

"Come now mister Sanzo. And here ah was hopin' ta play ya'll in some baseball." Hazel pouted.

"Well I'm afraid that we'd all rather die." Hakkai was wearing his "I hate Hazel." smile.

"Well ah understand. Ah guess that its just cause ya'll know that you'd lose. Might as well not go threw the humiliation." Hazel smirked.

The Saiyuki boys froze. None of them were very good at backing down from such a challenge. Expectably if it was from Hazel. Right now they were weighing their options. Play the game and kick Hazel's ass, _but_ have to wear faggity ass clothes. Or walk away and give the feeling of victory to that pretentious dick. Both of them seemed to more or less suck.

"Ya'll mustn't push yourselves." Hazel was looking smug.

This was enough to push Sanzo over the edge. "Where are the fucking outfits?" he growled.

"I believe that there over there." Hakkai pointed. He was sick of Hazel's smug asshole ways. He was yearning to wipe that superior look off his face.

It only took a few minutes for our boys to change into the gayrific outfits. After they made a quick agreement to not make fun of how ridiculous each other looked they went out. In this time Hazel had managed to get three other guys to play on his team.

"So its baseball we're playing then?" Hakkai asked with a smile.

"Why yes. These fine young men are gunna play on mah team. This is Jamie, Caleb, and Shaun." Hazel grinned. All three of the boys looked like they didn't have much brain power. It was probably the inbred look.

"That's great. Can we get this over with?" Sanzo looked decidedly bored.

"Yah know, ah feel kinda bad gettin inta a game ah know Ah'm gunna win." Caleb smirked and laughed to his friends.

"Yeah. Ah mean they cant win with an idiot who dyes his girly hair, a gay pretty boy, a five-year-old, an a girly droopy eyed priest." Shaun laughed.

"Fer real." Jamie laughed along.

"Would you mind repeating that please?" Hakkai had a smile that spelled out death. His hands started to glow slightly.

"Don't worry 'Kai. We'll just kick their redneck asses in the game." Gojyo put a hand on the healers shoulder to calm him.

"And we might just kick their asses after the game just for the hell of it." Sanzo growled.

"Yeah! I do not look five!" Goku yelled.

And with that the game started. Team Sanzo was first to bat. While team Hazel-is-a-gay-ass-mother-fucker, as Gojyo so fondly named them, had the field. Goku was up to bat first. Caleb was pitching.

Caleb sneered as Goku took his place on the base. "So the toddlers goin first huh? Don't worry little feller. Ah'll go easy on ya." he laughed.

"Just throw the ball." Goku glared at the idiot. Caleb wound up and threw the ball. Goku hit it, it flew as hard as it could… into Caleb's gut. While this was quite amusing it also made the ball easy to get. Goku just managed to get to first base.

"C-Caleb are you okay?" the coach asked the boy who was curled up into a ball on the floor. It took around five minutes for Caleb to be able to speak, and another four for him to be able to stand.

"Sorry Caleb. I guess this toddler doesn't know his own strength." Goku grinned.

When Caleb finally got himself together he went back to stand at the pitchers mound. Gojyo was next up to bat. Caleb wound up and threw. Gojyo hit it hard and took off. He ran past first and saw Shaun ahead of him kneeling down to get the ball. Gojyo could have ran back to first and stayed there. But he had his sights on second and he'd be damned if this redneck ass stopped him.

He continued running and jumped as high as he could over Shaun's head. He landed, safe, on second base. Shaun looked at him stunned. "An d my hair not dyed, bitch." Gojyo grinned cockily.

Goku had made it home so they already had a run. Hakkai was up next to bat. He smiled sweetly as he stepped up to the base. Well, at least to most people it looked like he smiled sweetly. To the other Saiyuki boys it was like one of Sanzo's death glares on a rainy day. He hit the ball hard and got to second while Gojyo got to third.

And then it was Sanzo's turn. He took his place at the base feeling much calmer than before. But then Hazel just had to open his mouth. He was _really_ good at ruining Sanzo mood.

"Don't you worry mister Sanzo! We wont judge ya poorly. Ya cant really be expected to do as well as the other fine members of yer team." Hazel smiled from his place on third.

Sanzo gave a deadly smirk which made his team members blood run cold. They could since the fury coming from their leader. Sanzo stepped up to the base and readied the bat. He would show these bastards who they were messing with. The first pitch came and Sanzo let it zoom by. Caleb laughed as the hind catcher threw the ball back. The same thing happened with the next pitch.

"One more and yur out, pretty boy." Caleb laughed.

Sanzo just smirked as Caleb wound up for the next throw. He threw it with all his strength and Sanzo, with all the strength he could muster that came from years of swinging the fan-o-doom, and with the rage of a provoked bear, hit the ball.

When it hit there was a crack like thunder. The ball flew and the bat completely shattered. Before Sanzo could even run to first base everyone was looking for the missing ball.

"Where'd it go?" the coach asked.

"S-sir. Its t-there." a boy pointed.

There the baseball was. It had been imbedded half way into the concrete wall furthest from home base. It had happened so fast that the white covering hadn't even had time to fly off.

"I-impossible." the coach stuttered.

"That's what you call a 'home run' right?" Sanzo asked nonchalantly from home base where he still hadn't moved yet. Everyone just let out a shocked nod. Sanzo proceeded to walk calmly around the bases. When he and his three team members were back at home he looked at them seriously. "Just remember, next time you annoy me, I could hit you _that_ hard with the fan." he smirked.

The three of them just nodded.

***

The rest of the game didn't go very well for team Hazel-is-a-gay-ass-mother-fucker. By the time they finally got to bat team Sanzo already had twenty-three runs. Goku was the pitcher when they had the field.

He pitched so fast that Jamie, who was batting first, didn't even see them all three times they went by. Neither did Shaun. In fact it took quite a while for anyone to hit a ball thrown by Goku.

At five minutes before the bell the coach announced that the game was officially over. Team Sanzo won by 57 to 3. All of those three got by Hazel. They went and changed and met back in the gym with Hazel.

"Well Ah'll be darned. It seems ya'll are quite the ball players." Hazel smiled. He was _pissed_.

"We would say the same to you but it seems better not to lie." Hakkai smiled. "Now if you'll excuse us." the four walked away.

"Well this shitty day is finally coming to an end." Sanzo said as they waited by the doors.

"Yeah. But you have to admit it wasn't too bad." Gojyo grinned.

"Yeah right! The food they serve here is crap and I'm so hungry I could eat two whole buildings!" Goku whined.

"Now, now. It could have been much worse." Hakkai smiled.

The bell rang and they all went out in front of the school. They were crossing the parking lot to get to their bus when a note fell from the sky. Hakkai caught it and read aloud,

"Dear Sanzo party,

Congratulations! You have made it threw one whole day of high school. You now get one wish each that can be whatever your heart desires. But for now, as promised, I'll send you back to where you were.

Love, Fred.

As soon as Hakkai finished reading there was a screeching of tires and everything went black.

**Chapter End**

Me: I think that went well! In case you people haven't noticed I hate Hazel. He's a freaking creep! And its weird how he's not-so-secretly in love with Sanzo.

Saiyuki boys: Agreed.

Goku: So there's only one more chappie?

Me: Yup. There's going to be an epilogue and then this baby is through. *sniffle*

Sanzo: *sigh* Just one more chapter to get threw. One more god forsaken chapter.

Hakkai: Its really not _that _bad.

Sanzo: My ass its not.

Fred: I thought you were having fun.

Sanzo: And no talking from you! I'm still pissed that you ate all of those damn cookies.

Gojyo: Just because you didn't get a cookie doesn't mean you had to shoot all of us asswipe! 

Me: Oh yeah! I made more of those cookies! *holds out a tray of fresh cookies.*

Sanzo: *points gun at Holysinner* Hand. Them. Over. Now.

Me: That's not a very nice thing to do Sanzo.

Sanzo: Feh, like I care. *takes offered cookie.*

Goku: I want five!

Gojyo: Save some for the rest of us!

Hakkai: Calm down now.

Me: I'd like to thank everyone for reading. I really hope you enjoy, especially you ari2266! *wink* Please send reviews but no flames. Flames will burn the cookies. Just one chappie left folks!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5: Epilogue

Disclaimer: I can honestly say that if I did own the Saiyuki boys I would be laughing in ALL of your faces right now. But I don't. So I cant…yeah. It sucks.

Note: Yep. This is the last one folks. I'm sorry that its pretty short.

________________________________________________________________________

'What happened?' was the first thought that entered Sanzo's mind. He opened his eyes slowly. He was on his back in the middle of a field. The others were still asleep, or unconscious, on the ground near him. They were all back in their normal clothes and there was nothing to suggest, other than the fact that they were in a random field, that anything had ever happened.

Sanzo stood up and took out a much needed smoke. He then started tapping Goku, who was nearest him, with his foot. "Wake up monkey." Goku's eyes soon fluttered open.

"Nya. Wassa matter Sanzo?" Goku asked still half asleep. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. "Where are we?"

"In a field obviously." Sanzo took a long drag from his Marlboro.

"Yeah but how'd we get here?" Goku got up and started to wake up Hakkai and Gojyo.

"Hell if I know." Sanzo mumbled carelessly.

"What happened?" Hakkai asked as he got up.

"All that high school stuff…wasn't a dream, right?" Gojyo asked standing next to Hakkai.

"I don't think so Gojyo." Hakkai smiled

"If it was a dream we wouldn't have all had it dipshit." Sanzo grumbled lighting up a second Marlboro.

"Fuck you monk!"

"Hi guys!" Fred shouted, poofing into existence.

"Waagh! Jeeze! Warn someone before you just pop up!" Goku shouted. Fred had poofed up directly in front of the monkey, causing him to fall.

"Very sorry. But you guys did it! And you didn't even kill anyone." Fred beamed.

"Yes, but what happened? How did we get knocked out and wake up here?" Hakkai asked with a small frown.

"Oh that. Well I needed to come up with a way to make it not suspicious that you four only stayed for a day. So I made it so that you all got hit by a bus!" Fred smiled brightly.

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah. Don't worry. I made copies of your bodies so that it wont seem like they just disappeared." Fred said reassuringly.

"We got hit by a bus?" Goku asked shocked.

"Its better than what I did to Hazel." Fred said seriously.

"What happened to him?" Goku asked with a smile.

"Well I couldn't really think of anything after the bus thing. So I just had him attacked by a pack of rabid squirrels." Fred smiled. Goku and Gojyo busted out laughing. Hakkai tried to hide his quiet laughter behind his hand and even Sanzo let out an amused smirk.

"Well I guess getting hit by a bus isn't _that_ bad." Hakkai smiled.

"Yeah. So we get our wishes now, right?" Goku asked excitedly.

"Yes. But first you must answer one question. What important lesson did you learn?" Fred asked.

"Lesson?" Goku looked lost.

"You didn't say anything about learning a lesson, pisslick!" Gojyo growled.

"Okay. I'll give you guys a hint. The lesson is that your lives could be much worse! If you ever find yourself thinking, 'My life really sucks right now.' remember that you could be in a redneck filled high school." Fred beamed.

"What kind of hint is that?" Sanzo asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well its more like the complete answer." Fred grinned.

"Well that does make sense." Hakkai smiled.

"Are you kidding me? That place would have been paradise if Mr. High and Mighty Dick here would've let me have some time with those ladies." Gojyo pouted while pointing at Sanzo.

"Suck it up, cockroach." Sanzo muttered.

"Right, well now on to your wishes." Fred grinned putting his hands in his pockets. "What do you want?"

"I want all the good food I can eat!" shouted guess who.

"I want the kappa to lose the ability to have sex." Sanzo said deadpan.

"What was that asshole?!" Gojyo snarled.

"You heard me moron."

"Fine! Then I wish you have to try and get with every woman we see for the rest of the trip!" Gojyo smiled triumphantly.

"Fine. No more stops then." Sanzo glared.

"That still leaves Yaone-san whenever she comes." Hakkai smiled.

"Shut it Hakkai!" Sanzo snarled.

"So what would you like Hakkai-chan?" Fred smiled.

"Hm. I wish for our safety while on this trip." he smiled.

"Wow. Yours is the only considerate wish Hakkai-chan. Well then I'll do my thing." Fred waved his hands magically and four pieces of paper popped up in front of all four of the guys.

"What's this?" Sanzo asked, looking at his.

"An I.O.U." Fred smiled.

"You mean to say that we did all that and all we get is a freaking I.O.U?" Sanzo snarled threw gritted teeth.

"Yeah. You'll all have to deal with that. I cant do magic. I'm a muse. Not a fairy." Fred laughed.

"Then why do you have fairy wings?!" Goku asked angrily.

"Holysinner wanted me to have them." he beamed yet again.

"DIE BASTARD!!!!!" Sanzo yelled firing his gun at the muse. Fred disappeared with a laugh and the guys were left with a very homicidal Sanzo.

It took quite a while and quite a bit of pain for Goku and Gojyo but they finally calmed Sanzo. Jeep had turned up during the fight and soon they were on the road again, heading towards the sunset. Goku and Gojyo arguing in the back, Sanzo threatening their lives, and Hakkai just smiling and driving.

"Hey guys! Wanna know something funny that I just found out?" Goku asked with a laugh.

"What is it Goku?" Hakkai asked.

"Heh heh. We still have those boxers on." he snickered.

"If we ever see that muse again he's dead." Sanzo grumbled lighting up a Marlboro.

**End**

Me: And that's the end. My first Saiyuki fanfic. *sniff* so sad.

Sanzo: Never write another.

Me: Sorry. Fred already shoved another idea in my brain. Don't worry, it should be good.

Goku: Do I get good food in it?

Me: Uh…sure.

Goku: Yay!

Gojyo: Do I get to be with a chick in it?

Me: Probably not.

Gojyo: Wha? Why not?

Me: I don't know. A little abstinence is good for you.

Gojyo: No its not! *whines*

Me: Fine! I'll let you be with _one_ girl in my next fic. But that's all.

Gojyo: Yes!

Sanzo: If there's anything he needs its castration.

Gojyo: You wanna start something baldie?

Hakkai: Now, now. Lets calm down.

Me: Thank you all for reading my dears! Please review! I would be delighted if you would join me for my next fic which should be coming up shortly. Oh! And I am thinking about cutting these author notes with me and the boys at the end out of my next fic. But I have decided that I'll let the reviewers decide. If there are just two people who want me to keep the little interactions then just say so in you reviews. In the mean time I send you all my love. See you all soon, Holysinner.


End file.
